Monday, October 6, 2008

Crash and Burn!

I managed to have a wonderful Autumn day with the family this past Saturday despite the sort of rejection and ridicule that would have brought lesser men to tears. While getting dressed I had decided to take a little more pride in my appearance and put forth a little more effort in selecting an outfit than perhaps I am known for. I was hoping to draw some attention, turn some heads and perhaps make a few people subconsciously begin humming that ZZ Top song about every girl being crazy for a sharp dressed man! This all began to crash and burn shortly after take off. My first mistake was asking my wife if my outfit made me look fat. "Do I look fat?" are words that no man should ever utter or respond to..they should be all together ignored. After waiting a gruelingly long 10 seconds to reply..she dodged the question and said that things were "out of whack" and adjusted my shirt. Without saying anything at all and then changing topics..my wife had answered my question by applying my previously mentioned man rule on me! I am pretty sure there is a man rule about woman using our man rules! I proceeded to walk out to the living room where my daughter Julia asked me why I was wearing my work pants with that outfit and told me I looked "dorkish" ( which I am pretty sure is not even a real word!). Feeling the need to eject from this burning inferno I reach for the ejection button by soliciting the advise of my three year old daughter who the very night before,while reading Natasha's Daddy with me, had assured me that she loved her daddy just like Natasha loved her daddy! She would surely tell me that I looked great and that she appreciated the effort I had put forth. She agreed with Julia. This post is the first time I have mentioned what my original intent was that morning. Up until now the pain and embarassment was still too near to me..